Stockholm (again)

After a bit of a downer week, some close friends gave me a much-needed kick in the pants. With the ensuing attitude check, I had a fantastic finish to the week in London, before flying to Stockholm for the weekend. Between my friends and all of Tracey’s friends, there were a million people to see. A lot of friendly familiar faces, and plenty of new ones too. Everyone seemed to be in Stockholm this weekend - it was great!

On Monday I went into overdrive to finish my creative writing portfolio for Brown by the application deadline (11:59pm EST). With the help of some new-found inspiration, I was able to put a solid ending on a story I’ve been working on over the last couple weeks in London. I really liked the style and general direction of the piece, but somehow the plot had gotten away from me and I didn’t think I’d be able to include it. Alas, I was able to backtrack and take it in a new direction that - I think - worked quite well. It was a bit of a victory, and finally getting my portfolio in the mail felt great. It doesn’t matter so much whether I get into the program now, what matters is that I was able to finish some really good pieces that I am proud of. Very encouraging.

Winding, winding down...

My first semester at LSE ends tomorrow. It's been a great term. I've met amazing people and have had a really good time. It's gone by too quickly, of course, and it's kind of depressing to think I'm halfway through my program. I suppose the real goal of studying here is to attach an MSc to my name from a really prestigious university, but for me, going to school is more about the GOING, not so much the finishing. I don't really like the finishing part, particularly when you're having such a good time.

In other regards, I go back and forth between feeling good about things, and being terribly disappointed in myself. Part of coming to London was for me to have an opportunity to get closer to my best self. I love this city so much, but as far as personal goals, I haven't really moved any closer to becoming the person I want to be. I've got so much work to do on myself, it sometimes just feels just too overwhelming. And life here moves so quickly, if you don't really dig your heels in, it's quite easy to get swept along in the chaos. It's quite easy to move forward without really moving forward. That's part of what I love about London, though. Even though I recognize it's kind of dangerous.

I'm applying for a Master's program at Brown University. It's in literary arts, and it's hella competitive. It was my dream for the longest time, getting into Brown. Now I'm not so sure. I see so much potential in London, in the millions of faces walking through the streets of this beautiful dynamic city. I feel like there are so many stories here; so much to learn and experience. Even though the program at Brown is fantastic (and I would be LUCKY to get in), I can't help but wonder how hard the adjustment would be moving to Providence, RI. It's a lovely little city, and an Ivy League school, but... well... London has a hold on me. And I suppose only time will tell how strong its grasp is!