I'm tired of being disappointed...

but I don't want to lower my expectations.

Winding, winding down...

My first semester at LSE ends tomorrow. It's been a great term. I've met amazing people and have had a really good time. It's gone by too quickly, of course, and it's kind of depressing to think I'm halfway through my program. I suppose the real goal of studying here is to attach an MSc to my name from a really prestigious university, but for me, going to school is more about the GOING, not so much the finishing. I don't really like the finishing part, particularly when you're having such a good time.

In other regards, I go back and forth between feeling good about things, and being terribly disappointed in myself. Part of coming to London was for me to have an opportunity to get closer to my best self. I love this city so much, but as far as personal goals, I haven't really moved any closer to becoming the person I want to be. I've got so much work to do on myself, it sometimes just feels just too overwhelming. And life here moves so quickly, if you don't really dig your heels in, it's quite easy to get swept along in the chaos. It's quite easy to move forward without really moving forward. That's part of what I love about London, though. Even though I recognize it's kind of dangerous.

I'm applying for a Master's program at Brown University. It's in literary arts, and it's hella competitive. It was my dream for the longest time, getting into Brown. Now I'm not so sure. I see so much potential in London, in the millions of faces walking through the streets of this beautiful dynamic city. I feel like there are so many stories here; so much to learn and experience. Even though the program at Brown is fantastic (and I would be LUCKY to get in), I can't help but wonder how hard the adjustment would be moving to Providence, RI. It's a lovely little city, and an Ivy League school, but... well... London has a hold on me. And I suppose only time will tell how strong its grasp is!

Weekend Visitors & the Week After

Veronika & Virginia were in town this weekend finishing off their Euroventure.  It used to be weird hanging out with friends in strange cities (or having friends from home visit me in another city), but for the last couple years that's just become regular life.  It's nice.  It's special.  It's fun.

Really looking forward to Paris in November.  Skyped with François last night, and he scared the shit out of me, telling me the horrors we would endure in exploring the catacombs (the non-touristy illegal ones).  Apparently I should expect to be up to my waste in cold muddy water after squeezing through sewage pipes and crawling over piles of human bones on my stomach.  Obviously I'm really excited about dying underneath one of the prettiest cities on earth.